Silence…

 

 Having a quiet place is very important. Living in the city, I’m surrounding by sounds, cars, people, helicopters and all the in betweens. They can be distracting and cause me to fall out of balance. I have to remind myself to sit, meditate and pray to center myself. 

What happened to July?

Well, July was epic in a bad way…but I could understand why it was happening. My dog got deathly sick and from there it was a chain reaction of unfortunate events.

I’m gonna be a beast at problem solving due to the plethora of problems I face. I accept my training and learn my lessons.

Asset Vs Liability

You are either one or the other. You’ll either add value to my life or take it away. All those who take it away won’t be apart of it. Life is just too short to spend it with people who are wasteful and toxic.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”- Steve Jobs

Stuck In 2010…

For those who know me personally, you know that 2010 was a very tough year for me. I lost my mother, uncle, and grandfather from October ’til December. Actually, I had a death for each month. This was among other things that were going on, such as being a full-time college student fighting for my degree.

I have since moved to California to start my life over with new opportunities and a positive mindset. The transition wasn’t drama free and new revelations about people I’d known most of my life (or so I thought) were revealed. Yet and still, I persevered.

Today, I can look back at my life and see where I have made great progress towards my goals. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m getting somewhere. There is just one thing I feel is holding me back.

I’m stuck in 2010. I swear. I don’t feel like I can fully move on from the events of that year. The feelings, the anger, the pain, the regret…are all still there. People say give yourself time, but I question whether it will help.

I never expected to be the same person after the dust settled, but my God. I don’t expect to ever forget. I feel like I moved into a new home, but in the back of the house there’s a room filled with all things I hated about 2010. The door is locked and I can’t find the key to clean it out.

I know these events have shaped me into the person I am today. I am definitely stronger and more resilient than ever before. But, I want that room cleaned and only left with things beautiful.