How Can You…

miss what you never in fact had? The truth of the matter is what was…was only an illusion and a lie you convinced yourself. You only miss what possibly exists, but you’ve yet to experience. Maybe it’s not time, maybe you’re unwilling, maybe…just maybe you’re unworthy.

I Find Myself…

saying the words “I Miss You” for people who aren’t dead or are still in my life along with those who are no longer in it. It applies in both ways, things change, others change…I change. Those who were there before the changes and those who are here now…things are different and sometimes I miss the way they were. Progress, I must progress, but as I travel full speed ahead allow me to say, I Miss You.

So, There We Were…

and I was wearing those shoes, heh. That was a sweet revenge that’s only between me. It was a break for the heart, but not a heart break thank God. I am on a path of destruction, destroying all that was and I’m enjoying every minute of it. No more what I’m going to do, it’s what I’m doing. Hello World! I’m about to conquer you. 🙂

Ramblings of Self Reflected Thoughts

I was sitting here thinking and reflecting on this year where all the bad has seemed to outweigh the good. I recognize that I do not know my own strength and I am highly critical of myself. I am often told that I do not give myself enough credit and people often find strength in me. I don’t know why God has allowed the things that have occurred to happen. I haven’t fully grasped the meaning, yet. I know that I am making it through all the pain, the hurt, the betrayals…

It’s cliche, but it really has made me a better woman. After you have been through it all or everything that you feared has happened, you no longer have fear. There’s nothing left to cause it. I thought I would take to my blog and write about recent relations that have severed, but I feel that gives the person or persons too much power that they do not deserve. Sometime people can really hold you back and at that time you don’t notice, but when they leave…it becomes clear. Everything that is thought to be Heaven sent is not, it may be Hell.  The best lesson I have learned is I can’t control things and not to down myself because of that. When there’s nothing you can do, there is plenty that God can and He has and will.

As this semester has ended and I have gained the title of college graduate. I am now allotted the chance to heal and focus on me and the things I want. I finally have the chance to get back to the music and do the art I prefer to do without the judgmental and critical hands of authoritative figures in school. All the rules I was taught I can now break. As I embark on this new day, this new phase of my life with much more wisdom than I had when I started my journey, I am grateful. Not everyone has a second chance or third chance to learn and become the person God wants them to be. Be resilient; don’t give up. The battle is already won, just endure.